A monk was once asked what they did up there in the monastery all the time. He replied, "We fall and get up again, fall and get up again, fall and get up again.
Falling and getting up - it's not an easy thing. The older I get the harder I seem to fall. Sometimes I fall many times in the same day and the more often it happens the more difficult getting up again seems to be.
I find myself wondering sometimes if maybe I can just learn the lesson already, take it to heart, then I might be able to avoid falling again. But somehow I think the "lesson" is a bit beside the point. It's not exactly like learning to ride a bike or play an instrument, where skill increases with practice and the playing or riding becomes easier and even more enjoyable as skill increases. Perhaps the point is more about learning to understand that I am not self-sufficient, able to conquer my passions alone. Perhaps the more I fall the more I will see how very much I need help. Perhaps every time I pick myself back up I have another opportunity to reorient myself toward the right telos, the right end. If I can keep refocusing on Christ, maybe in the end He will be all I can see.